Interview With Mariann Martland

Welcome to The Women Behind The Poetry, where we interview women from the 'Journey of The Heart: Women's Spiritual Poetry Project'!  

Today we introduce you to the courageous Mariann Martland whose prolific writings fearlessly encompass both light and shadow, as she explores the power in her own voice.

When and how did you first begin writing poetry?

I've always loved words, I would start writing journals and diaries as a child and then destroy them as I felt they were too permanent or feared someone finding them as my real feelings would be 'out there'. I assume I wrote poetry then, but my memory of these times is a somewhat sketchy. The first time I wrote a poem that I kept was about seven years ago and I have been writing and writing ever since. It was at a time when I was deeply depressed and it was in the early days of this expression that I began to face some of the traumas of my childhood.

For a long time I wouldn't have called anything I wrote poetry - I didn't have the confidence to do so, I would think of it as something a bit like poetry but not good enough to call it that. I would have said it was just thoughts, ramblings...musings even. Looking back, it certainly was poetry. My writing has evolved since then, as I hope it will always continue to do, but some poems I wrote back then are the most expressive, personal, 'best' (which is obviously a matter of perception) poems I have written.

Which subjects are easiest and hardest for you to write poems on? 

Writing poetry, for me, is an expression of self, so the subjects of my poems are always based on my deepest feelings, my experiences in life and the world around me. As such this makes all the topics of my poetry both the easiest and hardest to write about - easy because it is right there in me ready to be expressed but hard because it is often expressing a part of me that comes from my deepest vulnerabilities and experiences.

I write about myself, my life, my childhood, the world, the universe, love, life, friendship, connection, needs, wants, desires, pain, grief, heartache, trauma, sadness, happiness, joy and everything in between... Each of these subjects are the both easiest and the hardest for me to write about, all at the same time. Though it is rare that I go into my writing with a subject in mind - I can’t force it, it's just whatever is pouring out of me at the time.

When do you feel most inspired to write poetry? 

At night, or the early hours of the morning. I've been an insomniac since childhood and it is often when the darkness falls that words begin to flood my mind, giving voice to my deepest feelings - writing them down has become both a way for me to express myself and a therapeutic tool. 

However, it is life that inspires me to write and life is happening constantly - some of my personal favorites have been written during the day, outdoors, when I have felt connected to nature and the universe or while sat on a train when a thought pops into my head. Inspiration can hit me whenever and wherever - I just have to hope I have a pen and my notebook with me when it does!

What is your biggest fear or hesitation when deciding to share a poem with the public? 

Oh, this is a biggie... I've only been sharing my writing with the public for just over six months. Each time I put myself out there I feel fear and hesitation. It goes against the grain of all of the defenses and guards I have built over the years to protect myself from being seen - expressing my true self is new to me and I am learning everyday how much of myself I can reveal without feeling too exposed. The fear here - that I will reveal a part of myself that is too dark and too ugly for anyone to see, even myself. But sharing my writing has become such a fundamental part to exploring and healing the wounds of my childhood that I often now share my words without too much hesitation, the fear often comes later!

What is the most profound thing you have learned from writing poems? 

Everything I learn from writing feels profound. It teaches me about who I am. It teaches me about life. It connects me to my truth and the universal truths of humanity. 

How is writing poetry a spiritual process for you? 

Writing, be it writing poetry, prose, an article, a story, is a spiritual process for me. In fact, everything that I do in my journey through healing, understanding my life and expressing my truth is a spiritual process. For a long time I wouldn't have used the word 'spiritual'. My upbringing was extremely religious and I was battling against this religion for years, so the word 'energy' was all I could use to explain the connection I felt with the universe and humanity. The connection I felt through writing fell into this indefinable process. Now I can see how writing is indeed a spiritual process in its part in connecting me to myself, to others and to the universe. 

What function has writing poems played for you in your life? 

Writing is part of me. Over the last few months I have begun to own this. Even though, until recently, I had never shown anyone my writing and I now share it under a pseudonym, it gives me the freedom to show parts of myself and my life that have been hidden away for so long. 

Poetry gives me more freedom to feel, to discover, to express, and to create than any other writing style or art form. Its abstract or unconstricted nature allows me to be more vulnerable, raw and expressive than I find I can be in other art forms and in other areas of my life. 

What effect does reading the poems of others have on you? 

Reading a poem that I connect with from another writer feeds my soul. It can break my heart and put it together again. It connects me to the writer, to humanity and to myself. It inspires me to write more. 

How did you first discover Journey of The Heart? 

It was before I even contemplated sharing my own writing. I think I had clicked through from a link on an author bio on Rebelle Society or Elephant Journal and I have been frequent visitor ever since.

Have you publically shared your poetry before doing so via this project? 

I had been sharing my poems and other forms of writing on my blog 'The Power of Silence' for a few months before my first poem was shared here. One or two pieces of writing had been published at Rebelle Society and on some sites about childhood abuse/mental health, but this was the first time I had shared my writing with a project dedicated entirely to poetry.

What did it feel like to share your poetry for the first time on Journey of The Heart? 

When Catherine contacted me to ask if she could publish one of my poems I was blown away! I felt so honored. I had been following this project and had been inspired by the works of the poetesses here for some time and to know that my words had been heard and appreciated by her felt wonderful.

When my first poem, 'Slumberland', was shared here I was touched by the response and to see my poetry quoted on a beautiful photograph like 'real' writers(!) was overwhelming. I feel like this each time one of my poems is shared here - it never gets old!

  

What has been your general experience of sharing your poetry on Journey of The Heart? 

It has been a beautiful experience for me. There is a great amount of love and warmth in this community and I have felt so supported and welcomed in sharing myself, and my words. Then to be included in a book - wow! If you'd have told me a year ago that my poems would be in any other books than the notebooks hidden in the drawer by my bed I would not have believed you. It is a privilege to be a part of Journey of the Heart and I will be forever grateful to Catherine for believing in me, and my writing. 

Any last words you’d like to share about poetry?

One day, about six years ago, as I sat with my grandmother in the last days of her life, I picked up the book that she had by her bed to see what she was reading. It was a poetry book. She told me to pick out a poem to read. Reluctantly I opened the book to a random page, finding 'Ode' by Arthur O'Shaughnessy and read aloud the poem: 

"We are the music-makers,

And we are the dreamers of dreams... "

Suddenly I fell in love with poetry. I think I'd always been in love with it. I was already writing poems by this point in my life and felt its power and beauty, but I was so unfamiliar with my own voice then that I couldn't see what I was writing as poetry and my love for it was a love that I had blocked out with the walls I had put up to shield my true self from the world. 

I didn't call myself a poet or a writer back then, I wouldn't have had the confidence to do so, but really we're all poets, we're all writers, we're all artists - life is poetry. 

Mariann Martland is discovering a voice in her life through words, poetry, art, inspiration and healing. She is learning the difference between enforced silence in the despair of loneliness and chosen silence in the beauty of solitude; how silence can create both pain and peace. She is beginning to find her voice and share her truth. She would love to connect with you on Twitter, or Facebook and on her blog ‘The Power of Silence’.

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~If you are one of the poetesses from 'Journey of the Heart', and would like to appear in this blog, just click here to request an interview. We are excited to learn more about you!~

~If you write poetry and would like to share it on 'Journey of The Heart', click here for submission guidelines. And thank you for your interest!~